My Time, My Way.

Phew, isn’t life such a complex and underrated thing, we openly take it for granted daily. We over analyse it; we search for some kind of meaning within it. We put ourselves into these clicks of should do’s and should don’ts

We never really appreciate it, not until death smacks us in the face and gives us a wakeup call.

While every day we move closer and closer to the end of the line, it is only when someone puts a countdown in front of us, do we start to think. Well fuck, I need to learn to live my life. Breaking news guys! That countdown clock already exists.

We spend hours and hours, watching the day go ticking by, and we do nothing to change our daily routine, and then we moan because everything is the same as it was the day before.

Now come on, I know, with the current situation and all, we all have bills to pay, mouths to feed, it’s not like all of us can pick up our shit and just leave for a brand new shiny life, but still, waiting for our dreams of winning the lottery or having Sebastian Stan turn up and ask us to marry us isn’t exactly going to be achieved. Especially if all we are doing is sitting on our arses in front of the TV, or never actually playing the lottery. (Guilty!)

We ask for too much from the universe and yet we never give anything back to it, what do we really expect is going to happen.

We seem to believe that someone else must give us permission to live our lives. We must wait for other people to agree to join us; date us; to be happy.

What if we stopped. Stopped waiting for other people? What if we moved on before we wasted anymore of our time, making everyone else happy?

What if we stopped allowing people to make excuses, have us hanging on a hook and leading us on because they are bored, and we will do for now. What if we just stopped allowing people to use us until something better comes along, telling us that ‘the time’ or the ‘situation’ just is not right at the moment. What if we heard these words, and instead of in turn making an excuse for them, telling ourselves that if we are patient this fantasy of being with them will be true. If that was the case, if they were the perfect person you have created, then you’d be together already. What if we heard these words and just replied “okay, your loss, see you later, enjoy your life”, because I can promise you, the person, the life you see in your mind is not real. It will not be like that! If anything, I bet you more often than not it would SUCK! Big time!

Why do we think this is what life is;

“Girls are taught a lot of stuff growing up. If a guy punches you he likes you. Never try to trim your own bangs and someday you will meet a wonderful guy and get your very own happy ending. Every movie we see, every story we are told implores us to wait for it, the third act twist, the unexpected declaration of love, the exception to the rule… But sometimes we are so focused on finding our happy ending we do not learn how to read the signs. How to tell from the ones who want us and the ones who do not, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave. And maybe a happy ending does not include a guy, maybe… it is you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is… just… moving on. Or maybe the happy ending is this, knowing after all the unreturned phone calls, broken hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment you never gave up hope”

He’s Just not that into you.

So, what if we booked that holiday by ourselves. Go for that walk with other people, people that make time for us, and what if we did not cancel plans, just because one person could not make it.

What if we stopped being a girl, (or guy), that wasted so much time and energy on people that clearly do not give a fuck about us.

“Bright side, to be optimistic. Not in this case. In this case, look on the dark side. Assume rejection first. Assume you are the rule, not the exception. It’s intoxicatingly liberating” –

He’s just not that into you.

I am in love with this film, I mean you can pull apart any quote from it, replace man or guy with friend or family and it is still so relevant depending on your situation or circumstance. It is one of those movies that puts a lot of perspective on your life, and when I am feeling down or lost, I always turn to it, because it is so damn relevant!

Like, why the fuck do we stay surrounded by toxic people. Why do we fake it, because for some reason it is built into us that is the norm? We let family treat us like shit because they are family. We keep those people from work on our Facebooks with their racist quotes and fakeness because it would be rude and cause more of a fuss to delete them.

We make constant excuses for people treating us like shit, because apparently, “it’s not the right thing to do” removing them from our lives.

Okay, yeah there might be backlash but allow me to let you into a little secret. It could, COULD, suck for a while, but who gives a fuck! Why is it anyone’s business what you do with your own life? Why can’t we just choose for ourselves who can be a part of it, and who can see it, and have an opinion on it.

If people think they know you; let them live in that fantasy, because apparently they have to, because it turns out their lives are so fucking boring that they have to focus on yours instead of fixing their own fucking insecurities, and really are their lives so fucking perfect; with their affairs and cheating. With their bullying and lying.

You know, who truly knows you, and that is what is important.

So off you go:

Delete your aunt who takes every opportunity to call you fat. Fuck her judgement. She might be family, but she still a bitch.

Delete that dickhead, who has no follow through, because he clearly has a tiny penis, entertaining, but not worth your energy anymore. You deserve better.

Delete your ex, you do not need to impress him with your happy life, nor do you need to check up on his.

Delete your ex’s mum, I understand your trying to be polite, but you’re not together for a reason; and if she knew that reason she’d be ashamed, you don’t need the “you two made such a lovely couple though”, lines from her anymore

Delete that friend from school you only talked to once. You do not need to see his latest anime drawings, while he has talent and your happy he has a hobby, you are never going to see him ever again, so you do not need to know more about his life; and he does not need to know about yours.

Delete that person who takes every opportunity to make you feel bad about yourself; your beautiful the way you are.

Remember you do not need to make justification for anything you do. If it makes you happy and healthy, then just do it. It is your life, and you should not have to waste it trying to make anyone that you really do not care about comfortable.

Okay, so go start living everyone; otherwise, what is the fucking point!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s