A loud bang shakes my soul and wakes me with a hazed view, past a cloud of thick black smoke I see a light. It’s small, only a pin prick, but through the darkness it stings my eyes. They have been closed for so long that I didn’t think I could open them again. I rub them, and I blink rapidly letting my tears wash away any remaining dirt.
I hear his voice then, its low and it’s then that I realise it wasn’t a bang that woke me, but a deep whisper.
He looks at me but sees right through me, I’m nothing to him, just a shadow in the crowd – he laughs, and the light suddenly gets brighter.
He doesn’t know my name. I don’t want him too.
I’m dressed in black while everyone else is dressed in white. I don’t want to be – I don’t want to be like them.
I like to be hidden. I like the quiet small space I give myself. I like the dust covered insignificant cave I live in. The place only a tiny handful of people may come to view me. To observe.
I talk without meaning. I talk to make noise. Sometimes too much noise.
I don’t know him, but – He’s a liar, he lives in a different world than I do.
Sometimes I wish I didn’t tell my friends about my dreams. Sometimes I wish I didn’t walk or talk to fill an empty space.
Sometimes I wish I didn’t trust them with my life. I’ve been hurt before – sometimes that makes it difficult for me.
Sometimes I think I scare them. Sometimes I think that my thoughts, my mind, my crazy over the top – will you shut up – will I?
What if they can’t handle me? – I can’t handle me!
How will he?
I wish I was brand new…